Debbie Simoncini-Rosenfeld, vice president of an insurance company, was trying to deal with her eight-year-old daughter, Jessica, “screaming and yelling” to stay up later than her 8:30 bedtime. Her daughter wanted to read later at night. So Debbie traded her daughter a 9:30 P.M. bedtime in exchange for no bare-belly shirts at school and no riding her bike in the street. Debbie valued her daughter’s decorum and safety more than a later bedtime; her daughter valued a later bedtime more than decorum and safety. “Children like to be involved in making the rules,” Debbie said. “If they get something, they will give up something.”
There are many books around talking about negotiation: win-win situations, strategies, how to relate, how to present, etc.. Authors offer trainings, games and motivational speeches, have a website and recommendations from famous people. This book is no exception. Except one: it is absolutely packed with examples.
This is the best part about the book: it has hundreds of examples, of real situations when trying a negotiation worked. It has really good advice. For example, negotiation for a better price is not possible in the shops of an airport, but it is possible wherever you talk with the owner or manager of a shop. This happens a lot in the street shops. However, sometimes all vendors have the same price for the same product or type of product. In this case, the simple question: why should I buy from you and not from the next shop? makes wonders. Simply asking if the price is negotiable is enough sometimes to open the door for an unexpected saving.
The book is having one main principle: we are different and we value differently products or services. What is unimportant for him is valuable for her and viceversa. That makes the basis of trade: diversity in value we give to products and services.
Also, what matters is how things are perceived from the other side. It is always about the other side, because it is them whom you need to convince. Therefore, it is critical to understand what they want, what is valuable for them and what is not. Hence, listen to them and then make a proposal. There is always more to trade than appears at first sight.
Frankly, it is one of the best books, from any category, I have ever read. It has a good feeling after it, reading how people got what they wanted, how things got working.
[Featured picture by Australia High Commission, Suva – Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade]