Mon enfant hérisson – Stéphanie Couturier

Lors d’une crise émotionnelle, prenez l’habitude de réagir en trois étapes :

1. Ecoutez sans jugement ce que votre enfant a à dire.Votre enfant a besoin d’une oreille attentive. N’essayez pas de rétablir des vérités.–> L’enfant hérisson se sent considéré.

2. Répétez ce que vient de vous dire votre enfant en parlant de son émotion.”Tu es profondément triste parce que…”, “Tu es en colère car…”Même si cela vous paraît anodin ou exagéré, cela ne l’est pas pour l’enfant. Le fait d’entendre son parent le dire est une forme de reconnaissance de ce qu’il vit.–> L’enfant hérisson se sent compris.

3. Interrogez-le et proposez-lui votre aide.”Que puis-je faire, que pouvons-nous faire pour t’aider en respectant la consigne initiale ?”L’enfant participe ainsi aux solutions.–> L’enfant hérisson devient acteur de son apaisement.

Ces trois étapes contribuent à la construction d’une image positive de soi. L’enfant se sent ici soutenu, compris, respecté et considéré. Cela désamorce de nombreuses situations et l’aide à se construire dans la sérénité, ce qui est un réel investissement pour son bien-être futur. Un ticket d’or pour sa confiance en lui et son estime de lui-même !

Le livre est une exploration de la façon d’identifier et de gérer les enfants émotifs. Il suit les différentes étapes d’un enfant émotif, du bébé à l’adolescent, en offrant des solutions et de nombreux exemples.

L’auteur, Stéphanie Couturier, est thérapeute spécialisée dans l’accompagnement de la sphère émotionnelle des enfants. Elle présente ainsi un passé d’enfant émotif et parle de son vécu et de celui de ses enfants.

Le livre est extrêmement utile pour identifier et comprendre les raisons pour lesquelles un enfant se comporte d’une certaine manière, parfois apparemment irrationnelle. Il guide les parents dans la compréhension et la gestion de leurs enfants et montre comment un enfant émotif peut s’épanouir. même si le livre ne dit rien d’inhabituel, la façon dont il est structuré et écrit aide le lecteur à mieux comprendre le comportement de l’enfant.

Un livre vraiment utile pour tous les parents, en particulier pour ceux qui ont des enfants émotifs.

Rogue Protocol (The Murderbot Diaries, book 3) – Martha Wells

I stared straight ahead. If there was one thing good about this situation, it was reinforcing how great my decisions to (a) hack my governor module and (b) escape were. Being a SecUnit sucked. I couldn’t wait to get back to my wild rogue rampage of hitching rides on bot-piloted transports and watching my serials.

In the third book of the series (diaries because the protagonist presents the story in a first-person narrative), our rogue robot heads to a mining outpost to discover more about the past of the company that created it and mysteriously deleted some of its memory. It’s purpose is to investigate some of the stories related to this backwater, semi-abandoned outpost.

Again, the story is immersive and the investigation presents itself as a highly entertaining detective story. What is unique in this series, but particularly in this book, is how the author, Martha Wells, enters in the mind of the reader, asking questions that the reader asks as well, but in comical, ironical way.

The novella (indeed a rather short book) feels lean and the plot is tight, following a protagonist who is gradually developing while learning of the world. Few passages feel over-written, but the best of it, is that there is no endearing impression that part of the plot are missing or that some characters are under-developed. The book feels complete, despite being a novella. Additionally, the way the previous books of the series are referenced is done in short paragraphs, with well-chosen words, with excellent prose and humour.

Again, a lovely book, for a short read in the evening. What a series!

A Closed and Common Orbit (Wayfarers Book 2) – Becky Chambers

What was the difference between strung-together neurons and a simple bundle of if/then code, if the outward actions were the same? Could you say for certain that there wasn’t a tiny mind in that bot, looking back at the world like a beetle might?

The book presents in two separate, but interlinked stories, the survival and friendship adventures of an artificial intelligence (AI) and a clone on the run, sometime in the far future. A Close and Common Orbit is the stand-alone second book of the Wayfarers series.

The impressive world-building and memorable characters remain the strong-points of the series, but this time the story goes in a new direction compared with the first book. If the first book followed a motley crew, this volume is more about personal discovery, grit and friendship. The author explores the consciousness of an AI and how it evolves and interacts with sapient organics, through two separate stories (will not spoil how they are linked).

The book is captivating and fulfilling in its climax, with a good pace, creating a rich world, but unburdened by long descriptions. It is excellent storytelling. The plot is rather straightforward, but the introspection of the main characters makes a fascinating read.

An AI and a clone on the run, in two separate, but interlinked stories.

The author, Becky Chambers, is a well recognized and award-winning sci-fi writer, and these were the books that made her fame, the Wayfarers series being her most accoladed prose so far.

Overall, the second book of the series is an engaging and captivating read that has plenty of food for thought.

When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress – Gabor Maté

When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.

While it is common knowledge that stress is affecting one’s health, Dr Gabor Mate takes it a step further and analyses the impact of stress on body by looking into a patient’s childhood, relationship with partners, work and life in general.

The book is bold in its suggestion that body is over mind, considering that a person cannot accumulate stress and tension without effect. Dr Mate goes as far as saying that there is a “cancer” profile, where physicians can increase the chances of confirming cancer by looking at a patient’s personality. The ones who always try to help others, cannot say no to demands and are always smiling, those people simply bottle up negative emotions that would surface as an autoimmune disease.

An interest concept put forward by the author is the difference between rage and anger. He promotes the idea that it is ok to be angry and let tension exit the body. An angry person relaxes its body, takes a long breath and lets tension out. This comes in contrast with rage, which is uncontrolled violence (physical, verbal, behavioural). A person in a rage has all muscles contracted, does not breath correctly and accumulates tension.

The cost of hidden stress

The book is full of various medical cases and draws heavily on medical research, making it a somewhat dry reading. Nevertheless, this does not draw from the appeal of understand how our choices are affecting us.

It finishes with Seven A’s of Healing: principles of healing and the prevention of illness from hidden stress:

    • Acceptance – accepting us how we are
    • Awareness – of our bodies and what they are telling us
    • Anger – in Dr. Mate’s view, anger has cognitive value and works as a way to release tension and negative emotions
    • Autonomy – independent thoughts and actions
    • Attachment – being connected with others is healing
    • Assertion – speak up for ourselves
    • Affirmation – affirming our creating selves, and also our connection to something bigger.

    The book is really wonderful and warmly recommend to read, whenever we feel that life takes over us.

    Les 50 règles d’or de l’éducation positive – Bénédicte Péribère, Solenne Roland-Riché

    Sachez que les violences éducatives (physiques, verbales ou “simplement” émotionnelles) laissent une trace sur un IRM cérébrale. Certaines zones du cerveau sont alors insuffisamment développées, notamment celle permettant de réguler les émotions.

    ( Règle 22 : Évitez les punitions)

    Ce petit livre propose 50 conseils sur la parentalité. Les règles mêlent des règles de bon sens à des arguments scientifiques, donnant une bonne vue d’ensemble.

    Les règles évitent les conseils controversés et le lecteur peut facilement suivre les différentes principes. Le livre est conçu pour être souvent consulté et relu, avec des règles faciles à trouver, une bonne vue d’ensemble et un petit format.

    J’ai lu le livre en quelques jours et j’y suis toujours revenu avec plaisir. C’est un excellent livre à lire pour tous les parents qui veulent apprendre quelque chose de nouveau sur la parentalité ou simplement apprendre plusieurs règles de base.

    Factfulness – Hans Rosling

    This is data as you have never known it: it is data as therapy. It is understanding as a source of mental peace. Because the world is not as dramatic as it seems. Factfulness, like a healthy diet and regular exercise, can and should become part of your daily life. Start to practice it, and you will be able to replace your overdramatic worldview with a worldview based on facts. You will be able to get the world right without learning it by heart. You will make better decisions, stay alert to real dangers and possibilities, and avoid being constantly stressed about the wrong things.

    The central idea of the book is that world is much better than you think and it is getting better. Hans Rosling presents with data how world improved over time and shows with surveys how pessimistic without cause the reader is. While not perfect, the world is indeed getting better and the author presents the pessimistic biases we have.

    The book is structured in 10 chapters, presenting an instinct that we must be aware from:

    1. The Gap Instinct
    2. The Negativity Instinct
    3. The Straight Line Instinct Exercise: Question Your Assumptions
    4. The Fear Instinct
    5. The Size Instinct
    6. The Generalization Instinct Exercise: Getting the Full Picture
    7. The Destiny Instinct
    8. The Single Perspective Instinct
    9. The Blame Instinct
    10. The Urgency Instinct

    The book was written in the last months of life of Doctor Hans Rosling and seems to encompass his last message to the world: that we should leave bias and look for data, which will help us to create a better world and be more successful in medicine, business and development.

    The book is thoroughly entertaining, full of imagines and survey questions that make the read a pleasure. It challenges the reader to rethink the world around. What is really the masterstroke is presenting data in a way that is easy to understand and delivers a clear message.

    One of the most thought-provoking, well-written books on the world and developing trends currently on the shelves.

    The Virus in the Age of Madness – Bernard-Henri Lévy

    They knew that Pascal’s room, Thoreau’s hut, and especially their own den was a dark chamber, an unhealthy space full of resentment; they knew that one is nothing when alone, that one thinks most often of nothing at all, and that hell is not other people, but the self.

    This short book is a collection of thoughts regarding the Covid-19 pandemic from the French philosopher Bernard-Henri Lévy. Originally in French, the essay discusses the politics of the pandemic, wondering if the measures taken by governments are good or bad, the reaction of the media, and what we, humanity, should do collectively and individually in these circumstances.

    The references to French literature and influential philosophers betray the cultural range and depth of Lévy , without being didactic. The media referenced is rather balanced, neither progressive or conservative, and covers both sides of the Atlantic.

    The message of the book is a caution against human atomisation, using all the benefits of isolation, made possible by current technology. Food, clothes, items, can be ordered with a simple click. Communication can be done virtually. But the essential human touch cannot be ordered online. Staying at home cannot be praised, it is essentially anti-humane.

    Furthermore, individual liberties are disappearing, in face of distancing and confinement measures. Once taken away, it is hard to restate them. The democratic model itself is at stake, with other socioeconomic models vying for top spot. Media is focusing too much on the virus, while other grave problems remain in the dark: global warming, refugee crises, dictatorships, feeble democracies sliding into authoritarianism. But also good news are fewer in the pages of journals and screens of TVs, we know less about the good in the world.

    Lévy also warns about future pandemics. Humanity has lived with major pandemics all its history. What do we do if we another pandemic hits in five years time? Do we close again the economy? Measures against the spreading are needed, such as social distancing, but need to be debated, rationalized and lessons of the pandemic need to be learn. Because another pandemic is around the corner.

    The book invites to reflection, to think about what makes us human. It is a book about courage, in face of illness. And finally, it is a warning for the human isolation that technology now allows. Isolation cannot be praised, as if we do, we lose our humanity, the French philosopher argues.

    Six Wakes – Mur Lafferty

    I’m so sick of that argument. I’ve been hearing it for centuries. Playing God. Wolfgang, we played God when people believed they could dictate their baby’s gender by having sex in a certain position. We played God when we invented birth control, amniocentesis, cesarean sections, when we developed modern medicine and surgery. Flight is playing God. Fighting cancer is playing God. Contact lenses and glasses are playing God. Anything we do to modify our lives in a way that we were not born into is playing God. In vitro fertilization. Hormone replacement therapy. Gender reassignment surgery. Antibiotics.

    Six Wakes is hard scifi detective story taking place on a start ship headed for a new planet. Six clones, the entire crew of the ship, wake up, their earliest memory being from the start of the journey, 25 years ago. They are surrounded by their murdered bodies.

    We follow the stories and point of view of each character, all having great character development and good motivations.

    The novel debates the effects of cloning, in a masterful piece of suspense and mystery. The storytelling is compelling and the world building feels giving sufficient detail, without overwhelming the reader.

    The book was widely appreciated, being a finalist for both Hugo and Nebula scifi competitions, the most important book competitions of the genre.

    It took me less than a day to finish the book, I could not leave it down. A great detective story in space.

     

    100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings: How to Get By Without Even Trying – Sarah Cooper

    2. Translate percentage metrics into fractions

    If someone says “About 25% of all users click on this button,” quickly chime in with, “So about 1 in 4,” and make a note of it. Everyone will nod their head in agreement, secretly impressed and envious of your quick math skills.

    3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back”

    There comes a point in most meetings where everyone is chiming in, except you. Opinions and data and milestones are being thrown around and you don’t know your CTA from your OTA. This is a great point to go, “Guys, guys, guys, can we take a step back here?” Everyone will turn their heads toward you, amazed at your ability to silence the fray. Follow it up with a quick, “What problem are we really trying to solve?” and, boom! You’ve bought yourself another hour of looking smart.

    The book presents a sarcastic view of how to act during meetings, including 100 advises of how to look smarter, while not having a clue of what the discussion is about. The funny thing is that it resembles so much the modern world.

    Some of the advises include:

    1. Draw a Venn diagram. …

    2. Translate percentage metrics into fractions. …

    3. Encourage everyone to “take a step back” …

    4. Nod continuously while pretending to take notes. …

    5. Repeat the last thing the engineer said, but very very slowly. …

    6. Ask “Will this scale?” …

    7. Pace around the room. …

    8. Ask the presenter to go back a slide.

    The author, Sarah Cooper, is a comedian that worked for companies like Yahoo! and Google and has a blog called The Cooper Review.

    When I started reading the book, I genuinely thought that it is some self-development book. Well, it is mostly a humorous take of corporate meetings, but, as the motto says, “It is funny because it’s true!”.

    The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People – Stephen R. Covey

    Habit 1: Be Proactive

    Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

    Habit 3: Put First Things First

    Habit 4: Think Win/Win

    Habit 5: Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood

    Habit 6: Synergize

    Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw

    This is a self-development book with a huge success since it was released in the 1989. Like many self-development books, you are right both if you think it works or of you think it doesn’t.

    The author encourages the reader to divide its life into personal and public spheres and try to improve both by using the good habits he describes. There is no study or research behind the results, except the author’ personal experience and common sense. His Christian belief and principles, clearly confessed in a short paragraph at the end of the volume, is the basis of his philosophy.

    While now synergize and proactive are overused, back in the day they were innovative concepts. Much in vogue in the business schools, the book was popular with managers and people who just want to improve.

    There is nothing new or exceptional in the author’s advice, but just common sense for an active and fulfilling life. The relationship with family, kids, relationships at work are important. Being humble and organized are vital in Stephen Covey’s philosophical system.

    At times, the book seems to force the reader into buying more; being too commercial and aggressive. The advice seems shallow sometimes, without research to back the statements. The arguments appear exaggerated in some circumstances.

    The author passed away in 2014, after an accident, unfortunately.

    Overall, an interesting book, useful for those who want to find their way in life or who are at cross roads.