For our purposes, any touching of the face, head, neck, shoulder, arm, hand, or leg in response to a negative stimulus (e.g., a difficult question, an embarrassing situation, or stress as a result of something heard, seen, or thought) is a pacifying behavior. These stroking behaviors don’t help us to solve problems; rather, they help us to remain calm while we do. In other words, they soothe us. Men prefer to touch their faces. Women prefer to touch their necks, clothing, jewelry, arms, and hair.
The book presents how one can read the body language of another person. Joy, sadness, discomfort, anxiety, lying, distress, etc. – can be inferred by observing gestures and movements of a person. The book structures all the movements in chapters based on human anatomy: legs, face, arms, etc. However, the authors are clear that no single gesture betrays a feeling, but a more holistic observation is always required. To reinforce their arguments, Joe Navarro and Marvin Karlins employ relevant academic literature to explain why humans gesture and move their bodies in certain way when strong feelings occur.
Joe Navarro, the main author, was FBI’s top body expert, specialized in interviewing techniques, but also employed by the private sector in corporate negotiations. He is now an author and university professor in the United States.
The book is not providing any groundbreaking advice, but organizes in an ingenious, structured way human gestures revealing strong feelings. The book also tries to explain why we use the gestures we do. In more detail, the book argues that the limbic system is the one triggering the reactions. Humans tend to calm themselves by using pacifying gestures, which can be read and interpreted externally. Excellent images to portray gestures are employed in the book.

I enjoyed the book and though that lots of common sense and good advice is packed in a book. It is clear that the book is not a manual to deceive, but to learn to be more considerate to people and notice signs of distress. I learned gestures to show openness, like not hiding the hands: a simple gesture of putting the hands on the table when taking with someone, and not hiding them beneath the table helps to create a better connection. A great book overall!








